Why I Hate My Job

Posted on by Danielle Bender

By Josh Chambers, City Life Coordinator 

If I can be completely honest and transparent, I love my job and then I hate my job.

I feel privileged to do what I do. I know that not everyone gets paid to do what they love and are passionate about. I absolutely love to be able to tell  abandoned, marginalized and abused teens here on hilltop about the power of Jesus. This is my calling. Not everyone gets to see Jesus transform the lives of teens that most people wouldn’t give a chance. It can be so inspiring and joyful.

I hate my job because most of the time it hurts and challenges me personally in ways that I never thought possible. These same teens that I get to talk to about Jesus have challenged my faith in Jesus and just about everything that I thought I knew.

I hate my job because it always makes me feel like I am powerless.   I frequently hear situations that  teens face which leaves me speechless and dumbfounded, feeling completely powerless. So many times, I have told a teen that I have no idea what to do about their situation. And to be honest there have been times where I haven’t been able to tell them how Jesus is still good when they face pain and incredible challenges.

I hate my job because I have felt some of the most excruciating pain because of my deep love for the teens that I work with.  I’m challenged daily by them just being teenagers who don’t follow Jesus. There are no words to describe the pain of watching someone you care deeply about continue to make the worst decisions possible that will hurt them even more. I have shed so many tears and have had so many moments when I’ve wanted to give up and to go do something less heart-wrenching.

But in those moments where I want to give up, God challenges me to keep going, keep believing, and to love deeper. It’s because I serve a sovereign and all-knowing God that I still feel privileged to be a part of these teen’s stories. God is able to transform my deep sadness and powerlessness into hope and inspiring joy. He is faithful and shows me the small victories in the lives of the teens I walk with.

He reminds me He is not done with them, He is not done with me, so I'm not done with them.

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