Did you know April was the Month of The Military Child? And that we have a ministry specifically focused on reaching the military-connected youth in our area? 

We asked SaraBeth Wadsworth, Campus Life Military Site leader at Thomas Middle School in Lakewood, to share more about what it’s like to be a kid in a military family today and how we can all help impact their lives for good. 

What we mean when we say “military-connected youth.” 

A military-connected youth or young person is a child or young person whose primary caregiver is a member of the armed forces (whether that’s mom, dad, both, or another family/guardian relationship). 

Where are they found? 

“You can find them everywhere,” SaraBeth says. Locally, Joint Base Lewis-McChord supports more than 40,000 service members and more than 90,000 family members, veterans, and retirees. JBLM might be the 4th largest American military installation in the world, but there is not enough housing to meet the needs of each service member and their families. This means that service members and families could live anywhere within commuting distance to one of the many gates. 

Examples of “hotspots” include Lakes and Clover Park High Schools, Claudia Thomas Middle School, and Pioneer Middle School in communities bordering the installation like Lakewood, Spanaway, etc., but it is not uncommon to find military-connected youth in the metro Tacoma area or even farther from base. 

Many families also stay “behind the gate,” choosing to live most of their day-to-day lives on the installation (which has everything they need). They may choose to home school or possibly access a DOD (Department of Defense) school if one is available. Changing educational systems often can be tricky and may not work for all families. 

Military life might include differences that don’t factor into a civilian upbringing.

Factors like deployment and temporary duty (TDY), significant and frequent school transitions, adapting to parent absences and returns, and increased risk for adverse childhood experiences (or ACES) can set the experiences of military-connected youth apart from their civilian peers. 

Deployments can be 3, 6, 9, or 12 months. “At different points in history, they’ve been a lot longer, unfortunately,” SaraBeth explains. Often young people have to navigate their parent relationships through huge time differences or less than ideal communication channels. Sometimes a deployment could mean moving in with a relative, possibly in a different state, if your parent is single or if both parents are military.

“Everybody changes over time,” SaraBeth says, “And if you (the parent) have been in a completely different environment, you change and the family back home adapts. A lot of times teenagers will kind of step into roles they shouldn’t really have to step into, kind of the man or woman of the house, taking care of younger siblings. And then the parent comes back and the whole family system has to readjust.” The young person may need to relinquish roles they’d grown into for a year, or a parent might come back with PTSD or a physical injury, and their lives completely change. 

While statistically military youth are more at risk to experience ACEs (potentially traumatic events or environments encountered in childhood that are linked to lasting negative effects on health and well-being), SaraBeth says, “there are a lot of phenomenal kids with really good upbringings and solid families, too.”

What’s awesome about being a military kid? 

In addition to being incredibly resilient, SaraBeth says, “They are more aware and more open to diversity and experiences. A lot of them have lived overseas. They’ve tried different foods and met different people, spoken different languages, seen different governmental structures, met people from all over the country, and had to build relationships with people….To be able to navigate that is a really important skill and something you might not be able to learn in a different place.” 

She’s also met quite a few military-connected kids who are excellent at communicating with adults. If parents are in positions of authority, many times kids will learn to navigate the world in a really respectful way. 

They may also be more likely to stand up to bullying. “Maybe they’ve experienced that,” Sarabeth explains. “They may feel like, ‘so what if that kid is different? What does that mean?’ Because they’ve been the outsider, too.” 

“They grow into adults that are willing to have a lot of different experiences and are more likely going to work in diverse environments,” she says.   

What big issues are facing military-connected kids? 

“Finding a place to belong, developing relationships, and learning how to say goodbye well and establish themselves in a new place,” SaraBeth says. Social development is huge for all adolescents, but having to pick up and move every two to three years can make it especially challenging for military-connected youth.

“It’s very common for a student to go to three or four different schools between 7th and 12th grade,” she explains. “Not everybody’s parent goes and is deployed for multiple years during their time in the military, but they all have to learn to adapt.”

There are ways that anybody can support military-connected young people.

If you have a military-connected young person in your circle, church, or neighborhood, SaraBeth suggests asking them about their experiences and places they’ve been, what they like best, how many parents are in the military, etc. Demonstrate care and interest. 

“Get to know their story. Try not to make assumptions,” she says. 

She also stressed, “Be willing to invest in them knowing that they will move on, most likely.” Don’t write off the kid, the relationship, or the impact based on the potential brevity of the connection. “You might have a couple of months with them and you never know what that can do.” 

SaraBeth recalls a text message she received from a student she’d only known a few weeks. This time it was SaraBeth and her husband moving away due to military placement, but she’d shared with a girl at a youth group event that she was there because she knew military kids sometimes have a challenging life. “We want them to know that there are people who understand and care about them.” 

On SaraBeth’s final night with the youth group full of military kids, the girl sent a long text message that said, in part, “I just want you to know, you made a huge difference.” The girl explained that knowing there are people like SaraBeth made her feel good. 

“Be willing to invest,” SaraBeth encourages. “This need is not going away. And there are a lot of military-connected youth. They need adults that are going to invest in them no matter how long they’re here.” 

SaraBeth has a handful of girls ranging from freshmen in high school to beyond college and living their young-adult lives, that she’s still in contact with. “If you invest, and they move away, it doesn’t mean the relationship ends.” 

“It won’t be the same type of relationship,” she says, “but when we sow, God doesn’t say, ‘Oh, well, that was just for two months. What a waste.’ That’s not how it works.” 

The opportunity for impact is huge. “The Kingdom of God is everywhere,” says SaraBeth. “Just because you’re saying goodbye to this kid does not mean they’re exiting the Kingdom. The Kingdom is not YFC Military, or church, or wherever… it’s much bigger.” 

Want to get involved?

Our local Campus Life Military ministry, led by SaraBeth, is actively looking for more volunteers to invest in the lives of young people. “I need people who are willing to invest in those kids directly,” she says. CLICK HERE to fill out a volunteer interest form and we will be in touch. For a peek at our Thomas Middle School site, including an informational video from SaraBeth, click here. 

You can partner financially by clicking here. 

Our Campus Life Military is just one of 17 military-focused Campus Life locations across the world. To learn more about the mission and movement of Campus Life Military and how you can connect and support the effort to start more sites on more military installations, CLICK HERE or head to yfcmilitary.org

Prayer is a powerful way to impact the lives of military-connected youth. We know God loves these young people even more than we do. Join us in prayer for young people to find connection, belonging, and caring adults who will invest in their lives, no matter how long they’re around.